7 Things I Learned in 2025

You are the product of your own making.

This has been the most eventful year of my life. I got married, bought my dream house, traveled almost every month, and found out I’m going to be a father.

The last thing is the best gift. As I’m writing this, my wife is almost 36 weeks pregnant. I honestly can’t wait for my little guy to come into this world.

Before the end of this year, I took some time to reflect on the lessons I learned or relearned. I hope they will serve you on your journey.

1. Comfort is the enemy

I learned this the hard way. After my “big” book came out in 2024, I went on autopilot.

When I started writing in 2015, my goal was to publish a book with a big-shot publisher. Well, that happened last year, but it wasn’t really that life-changing.

As writers, we tend to romanticize working with famous publishing houses, but they are also just human beings. After I achieved my goal and did well financially, I started coasting.

After a while, I felt empty and unmotivated. This year, I slowly started getting back to my own ways. I created new courses and self-published a couple of article collections. And I’m writing an all-new book right now.

For the past three weeks, I’ve been writing a daily letter to my unborn son. I write about the things his mom and I are going through with the pregnancy, with a bunch of life lessons woven in.

I want to share the things I’ve learned along the way with him. And he can read it anytime he wants when he’s older. I’m thinking of publishing it as a book too.

So all in all, I’m back to pushing myself to get better at what I do and not sit still.

2. Money well spent is a virtue

I’ve never spent so much money in a year. Between traveling, buying furniture, building a home gym, and baby stuff, I’ve probably spent a hundred thousand bucks. And that’s without the money I put down for the house.

But it’s okay. I had a few realizations this year.

I sat down with my accountant and a notary to create a will. If I die, the taxman is coming after my money.

It’s not enough that you pay taxes during your lifetime; they also get you when you’re in your coffin.

So what it comes down to is that you should spend your money wisely while you’re still here.

My wife and I will have a completely different life starting about a month from now. I’m glad we traveled as much as we did. We made a lot of great memories that will last a lifetime.

The money spent on that stuff was worth it. And I basically lived super frugally my entire life. At some point, you want to enjoy yourself.

As for the house, I don’t regret spending all that money at all. We will love living here. And I bet my son will love it too.

Spending can be a virtue if you think about it. But only if you spend it well.

3. Don’t take on too much

If I could do one thing differently, I wouldn’t renovate so much stuff in the new house. It took about three months. It was just too much. It’s pretty much done now, but it was very stressful.

Mentally, but also physically, because I’m an idiot sometimes. I tend to do a lot of things by myself when I know I shouldn’t.

I’m the type of person who still washes his car by hand instead of going through an automated car wash. I think there’s something wrong with my brain.

I like to bring pain to my body sometimes, I think. I actually washed my car again today… by hand.

Dude, just pay a few bucks extra and avoid spending an hour washing and drying your car by hand.

Don’t be like me. Preserve yourself.

4. Arguing with my wife helped us argue less later

We don’t argue often, but when we argue, it gets pretty intense. Loud talking and finger-pointing.

Fortunately, that has only happened a few times. But when we argue, we are both clear about what we just can’t stand. So we actually get better at avoiding arguments in the future.

Before the wedding, we had a period when it hit the fan weekly. But even now, with the pregnancy hormones, it’s once every two or three months. And I feel like every time, there’s more time in between arguments.

If we keep this up, we might only argue a couple of times a year. Probably won’t happen. But it’s a good goal to have.

5. Accept any help that’s offered

My family is going through their own challenges at the moment. My brother has a herniated disc. And my dad is 65, so he’s not the youngest, and I don’t even want him to help.

One of my friends has offered to help me with a bunch of tasks in the house a few times. My uncle, who’s in good shape, also helped me a lot. And every time they offer, I gratefully say yes because I can definitely use the help.

You will find that the people around you have their own problems as you get older. That’s because life is hard, and you really can’t expect anyone to help you.

I’m also not the type who likes to hire contractors for everything. It costs a lot, and many of them are not even good at what they do.

If you need help and someone offers it, just accept it.

6. Most people are jealous

I had a lot of different people over to do work. Contractors, specialists, movers, helpers. Some walked in, looked around, smiled, and said something kind. They asked questions. They were genuinely happy for us.

Others did the opposite. They walked in, looked around with a stiff face, did their work in silence, and left without saying a word.

At some point, I realized that this wasn’t about me. It was about comparison.

When your life moves forward in visible ways, it confronts people with where they feel stuck. That discomfort doesn’t always come out as hostility. Sometimes it shows up as distance. Sometimes as silence. Sometimes as passive aggression.

I used to take that personally. I don’t anymore.

You don’t need universal approval. You don’t need everyone to clap. And you definitely don’t need to dim your happiness to make other people feel better about their own situation.

Pay attention to who can be genuinely happy for you when things go well. Those are your people. The rest are just revealing where they are, not where you are.

7. You always need to have a big goal

I mentioned this at point one. But I want to stress it even more here.

Whenever I don’t have a big goal, I start drifting. I start optimizing small things that don’t matter. I become busy without being directed.

When you’re working toward something that actually matters to you, inconvenience stops feeling like a problem and starts feeling like part of the deal.

If your goals matter enough to you, everything becomes bearable.

And it doesn’t have to be super specific. Just come up with something that excites you.

Right now, I have a few big goals.

I want to be a good father. I want to write a new book and create new courses. I want to build a life that doesn’t collapse under responsibility but is strengthened by it.

Conclusion: You are the product of your own making

At some point, we all realize that no one is coming to build our lives for us.

What you end up with is the result of what you choose to do when things are hard, unclear, or inconvenient. You can pull back and wait, or you can lean in and make something of it.

The things that matter later often feel ordinary or even pointless at the time. Trying something new. Taking a risk. Developing skills. Making memories while life is still messy.

So keep building. Not because it’s easy or impressive, but because it’s the only way life gains weight and meaning.

Your life doesn’t shape itself. You do.