I had my first son almost 14 years ago. My daughter -- 11. Having kids had taught me to cut out the BS and get to what really matters. I also learned to treasure small steps and focus on tiny progress rather than big jumps. I love your point about "I will get those back," when you talked about movies/series with your wife. This is a really helpful attitude to remind ourselves this is temporary. In general, running a business while raising 2 kids has been a time when I allowed myself to not strive for perfection, but focus on how I could serve even in small ways. My kids are now less dependent on me, and I have a business and clients I've helped and books I've written. Looking back, the only way I know I was able to do it is by taking tiny steps and allowing myself to show up the way I was able to at the moment. I also learned to ask for help and invest in tools that made my work more streamlined. Thanks for this!
Having had twins, I wouldn't recommend this "My son sets the rhythm now. My wife and I adapt around him, support each other, and find pockets of time wherever they appear.".
You can have your son your "sattelite", not the other way around. My wife and I set the schedule. Did it work every single day? No. But we made sure it was a priority for us.
It is certainly true that constraints can force us into action, but I wonder if our modern obsession with being "more productive" still relies heavily on the illusion of the human ego. It treats time as a mere resource to be optimized and our existence as a rigid project we must efficiently master.
We convince ourselves that if we just squeeze our schedules perfectly, we can finally conquer our limitations and assert our control over the formidable monster of life.
Perhaps true vitality has nothing to do with output or efficiency. Instead of aggressively trying to hack our days through sheer willpower, we might be asked to embrace a profound surrender. When we relinquish our desperate need to manage time and become humble vassals to life’s awe-inspiring and enigmatic mystery, we no longer measure our worth by what we produce. We simply open the eyes of the soul to what is in front of us, whether it is "productive" or not.
I had my first son almost 14 years ago. My daughter -- 11. Having kids had taught me to cut out the BS and get to what really matters. I also learned to treasure small steps and focus on tiny progress rather than big jumps. I love your point about "I will get those back," when you talked about movies/series with your wife. This is a really helpful attitude to remind ourselves this is temporary. In general, running a business while raising 2 kids has been a time when I allowed myself to not strive for perfection, but focus on how I could serve even in small ways. My kids are now less dependent on me, and I have a business and clients I've helped and books I've written. Looking back, the only way I know I was able to do it is by taking tiny steps and allowing myself to show up the way I was able to at the moment. I also learned to ask for help and invest in tools that made my work more streamlined. Thanks for this!
Love that, Elena. Thanks for sharing!
Hello Darius,
Having had twins, I wouldn't recommend this "My son sets the rhythm now. My wife and I adapt around him, support each other, and find pockets of time wherever they appear.".
You can have your son your "sattelite", not the other way around. My wife and I set the schedule. Did it work every single day? No. But we made sure it was a priority for us.
Other than that, thanks for the insights :)
It is certainly true that constraints can force us into action, but I wonder if our modern obsession with being "more productive" still relies heavily on the illusion of the human ego. It treats time as a mere resource to be optimized and our existence as a rigid project we must efficiently master.
We convince ourselves that if we just squeeze our schedules perfectly, we can finally conquer our limitations and assert our control over the formidable monster of life.
Perhaps true vitality has nothing to do with output or efficiency. Instead of aggressively trying to hack our days through sheer willpower, we might be asked to embrace a profound surrender. When we relinquish our desperate need to manage time and become humble vassals to life’s awe-inspiring and enigmatic mystery, we no longer measure our worth by what we produce. We simply open the eyes of the soul to what is in front of us, whether it is "productive" or not.